hiie. its raining. its gloomy. its just how i'm feeling exactly right now. at this moment while typing this post. i'm sorry i had to bring you guys such a sad post on this happy occasion after Christmas. but...but i'm really pissed. pissed. i cnt bring myself to smile to myself. i cnt bring myself to think that lter at the concert thgs wld be better. i cnt bring myself to think that alll will turn for the better. i lost my positiveness.

i cannot believe that this kinda thg wld happen to me. its as though i lost all my loved ones and im uncared. im in this empty home with furnitures but not love, not warmth. its not tt kinda home i'm looking for. i wan a blissful family with loving parents and caring siblings. i don wan my family. i wld be better off dead. dead and brought to another place that none of my family members has yet gone to. i don wana stay on earth and be tortured alive. no. i don wan it to happen. nobody can save me. not my parents. coz they don love me at all! at least i cnt feel loved! i cnt feel tt they'd be there for me when i need them. tt they wld comfort me when i feel rly bad. evrythg tt happens, bad thgs, are all my doings. they don listen to me explain. they only know how to scold. maybe they wun even rmb when i was born. maybe-s. maybe-s. how i hope all the maybe-s wld become real. how i wish i cld choose wat kinda family i get into and wat kinda siblings i wld have. if i cld choose, i wld not wana be my parent's child. i don wan to be scolded for thgs i've not done. i wan love, care and happiness. now, i feel so great alone when i used to hate lonliness in the past. they made me realise the fact tt i hav to be alone coz they wun give a damn abt me.

i cried. silently. without anyone knowing. of coz they wldnt noe. they don even care! so i gave up on that. now, i hereby announce that the past Noel is dead. the new Noel is alive. awakened. not loving anybody. not loved by anybody. she's alone. friendless. frens are meaningless. life is meaningless...

THAT LADYY

#`*Noel
#`*sweet fourTEEN
#`* TENfeb
#`*6I05-YPS
#`*6Irian for Life
#`*10506-NHHS20507-NHHS
#`*2Fiver
#`*SJAB-NHHS
<33shin fung's BESTIE! XDD
<3 annette's Mommy(x
lurvves Kuan lian <33

SHE WANTSY

Him
Samsung Ultra Edition 10.9 SGH-U600
Better relationship with everyone.
some people to vanish from Earth forever.
that Nike sling bagg.

SCREAM;TALKY

The LyricsY

I shouldn’t love you
but I want to
I just can’t turn away
I shouldn’t see you
but I can’t move
I can’t look away

I shouldn’t love you
but I want to
I just can’t turn away
I shouldn’t see you
but I can’t move
I can’t look away

And I don’t know
how to be fine when I’m not
‘Cause I don’t know
how to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling’s taking control of me
And I can’t help it
I won’t sit around,
I can’t let him win now
Thought you should know
I’ve tried my best to let go of you
But I don’t want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It’s getting hard to be around you
There’s so much I can’t say
Do you want me
to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don’t know
how to be fine when I’m not
‘Cause I don’t know
how to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling’s taking control of me
And I can’t help it
I won’t sit around,
I can’t let him win now
Thought you should know
I’ve tried my best to let go of you
But I don’t want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

This emptiness is killing me
And I’m wondering
why I’ve waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there
just never spoken
I’m waiting here…
been waiting here

Just so you know
This feeling’s taking control of me
And I can’t help it
I won’t sit around,
I can’t let him win now
Thought you should know
I’ve tried my best to let go of you
But I don’t want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know